Being shy isn’t necessarily a problem. It is perfectly fine to take time to warm up to new people and situations. However, shyness hinders some individuals from being as comfortable or sociable as they would like or want to be.
Some people want to feel less shy in order that theyenjoy more fun socializing and being themselves around others. If you are one of such people, then here are some tips for you to overcome your shy feelings:
- Start easy with people you know.
Practice social behaviours like eye contact, confident body language, introductions, small talk, asking questions, and invitations with the people you feel most comfortable be around with. Smile and build your confidence this way then try out the same process with new friends.
- Think of some conversation starters
Getting started is often the hardest part of talking to someone new. Think of conversation openers, like introducing yourself “Hi, my name is Samuel, we were in 5th grade together”, giving a compliment “That wristwatch looks great on you”, or asking a question “Do you know when our report is due?”. Being ready with a conversation starter (or a few) makes it easier to approach someone.
- Rehearse what to say (most people do this)
When you are ready to try something you have been avoiding due to shyness — like a phone call or a conversation — write down what you want to say beforehand. Rehearse it out loud, maybe even in front of the mirror. Then just do it. Do not worry if it’s not exactly like you practiced or if it’s not perfect. Few of the things more confidentseeming people do are not perfect either. Be proud that you at least tried. Next time, it will be even better because it will be easier.
- Give yourself a chance
Find group activities where you can be with people who share your likes or interests. Give yourself a chance to practice socializing with these new people, and get to know them slowly. People who are shy usually worry about failing or how others will see or judge them. Worries and feelings like these can keep you from trying. If self-criticism plays a role for you, ask yourself whether you would be this critical of your best friend. Chances are you would be much more accommodating. So treat yourself like your own best friend. Encourage yourself instead of expecting to fail.
- Build your assertiveness
Because shy people can be overly concerned with other peoples’ reactions, they do not want to give it a shot. That does not mean they arecowards. However, it can mean they are less likely to be assertive. Being assertive means speaking up for yourself when you should, asking for what you want or need, or telling other people when they are stepping on your toes.Most of all, be yourself. It is fine to try out different conversational approaches you see others using. However, say and do what fits you and your style. Being the real you and daring to let yourself be noticed is what attracts friends.
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Emotional intelligence (E.I) can help deal with shyness and other self-esteem issues. At EMEDITH CONSULTING, our Emotional Intelligence session focuses on what this concept really means and why it matters. The session takes participant on a voyage to discover ways to identify and manage feelings as well as understand the underlying feelings behind our behaviours.
Do you have shyness or low self-esteem issues? Send us a mail; info@emedith.com or call 09090404258, 09090404259.